


Much Ado About a Dildo

by maigonokaze



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Comedy, Dildos, F/F, Femslash, Inspired by a comic, PWP, Processing, Smut, Strap-Ons, but there's still kinda plot?, processing and smut and humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 04:27:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4773551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maigonokaze/pseuds/maigonokaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Lena feels insecure, Stef and Lena try something new in the bedroom, and 6-year-old Brandon finds a toy that is *not* for him to play with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lena Feels Insecure

Stef browsed the shelves with curiosity. For weeks she had slowly hedged around the idea of coming here and only when Lena offered to come with her had she finally worked up the courage to step through the rainbow-draped doors. She'd been in sex shops before – well, she’d been in seedy stores that had a shelf or two of lube, condoms, porn and vibrators tucked away in the back. But she had never been in a place like this, that explicitly catered to LGBTQ people. Most of the toys were familiar – things she’d seen marketed to straight couples, if not toys she had used herself – but there were some things that were obviously designed for two partners with vaginas. Those were the objects that drew her attention.

Lena hovered nearby as Stef wandered through the store, far enough away to give her privacy to explore, but close enough to see if anything caught her eye.

Stef picked up a feeldoe on display and turned it over in her hand. "Have you used one of these before?" she asked her girlfriend.

Lena nodded. "They're not quite my thing," she replied. "I’m generally not big on penetration. And a harness works better." Stef cocked her head and put the feeldoe back on the shelf. "That doesn't mean we can't try it, though, if you want," Lena added.

Stef shook her head and moved down the shelf. "This is the one you have, right?" Her fingers just barely brushed against a sleek silver harness. She had seen it several times in Lena's bedroom, but they had never used it. "So..." Her eyes drifted from the harness to the rows of dildos. "You have one of these too?"

"Not anymore," Lena said, shaking her head. "I wore one with Gretchen. But you have to boil silicone to really sterilize it, so anything that couldn’t be submerged got thrown out when we broke up."

Stef hadn't considered that. "I suppose sex toys are a good exception to recycling." She paused, "Did you like wearing one? Would you want to get another? Since you already have the harness..."

Lena hesitated.

She did like her strap-on. She liked the feel of the harness on her hips, the weight pressed against her skin, and the thrum of the vibrator tucked into a pouch next to her clit. She loved the way it moved with her hips and the pleasure she could give her partner while wearing it.

But none of her previous partners had a history of dating people with penises. A knot formed in Lena’s stomach. What if they got one and Stef realized that the brightly colored silicone was nothing but a poor-woman's stand-in for what she had already had with Mike?

Lena felt Stef watching her, still waiting for an answer. "Sure, let's get one," she agreed.

"Which?" There were dozens of options laid before them and Stef turned to Lena for a decision.

Lena scanned the choices. “What do you like?” she asked.

Stef shrugged. “One of the vibrating ones would be fun.” She didn’t make any move to pick one out, instead shoving her hands in her pockets while she continued to scan the shelves with wide-eyed curiosity.

Lena stood beside her. A vibrating dildo narrowed their choices, but not by much. She opened her mouth to ask Stef what size she wanted. The question hovered on the tip of her tongue... and died there, silenced by the fear that if she asked, the answer would be a rough description of Mike's or another former partner's penis. So instead, Lena reached for a box and looked to Stef for her input. "How about this?"

"That is going to take a lot of foreplay to make that work, love," Stef snorted in amusement. "Here I thought 'bigger is better' was just a guy thing."

Lena snatched her hand back. Her cheeks burned. "Why don't you pick one you like," she suggested.

Stef turned, her attention shifting from the shelves of sex toys to focus solely on her girlfriend. Lena's expression remained neutral, but her stiff posture face revealed her discomfort. "What's wrong, Lena?"

"Nothing," Lena deflected. "But really, I'm just going to be the one wearing it, so you should find the one that will feel best for you."

“Alright, but you are upset?” Stef’s voice rose on the last word.

“I’m fine,” Lena insisted. "You pick something out, I'm going to go look at the vibrators."

“Okay.” Stef didn’t sound certain. She stepped back from the shelf and turned to go explore another corner of the store.

When they were ready to leave - after Stef had examined literally everything in the store - they headed to the check-out counter together and started to divide up who was paying for what. One object was conspicuously absent from their pile.

Lena took a deep breath. “You didn’t want to get a dildo?” she asked.

Stef shook her head, her eyes firmly fixed on the countertop. The sales clerk continued scanning their purchases.

“Stef,” Lena said, “I’m sorry. I was just… I _want_ us to have one if that’s something you want.”

“No,” Stef said firmly, raising her eyes and turning toward Lena. “You obviously don’t want one and you shouldn’t do something just because I want to.”

“Your total is on the screen,” the sales clerk said. They didn’t seem at all disconcerted by the conversation. Lena imagined they saw quite a few interesting interactions between people shopping for sex toys together.

Stef swiped her card. “Thanks,” she said, as the clerk passed her her bag. “I’ll be out by the car.” She left Lena alone at the counter to pay for her purchases.

When Lena walked out to the parking lot a few minutes later, she spotted Stef leaning against the side of her volvo. “Stef?”

Stef straightened as Lena approached. “Ready to go?” she asked, a false cheerfulness in her tone. With anybody else she might have gotten away with it, but Lena saw that she was close to tears, if she hadn’t been crying already.

Guilt sunk like a rock to the pit of Lena’s stomach. “Stef-”

“I’ve got to go by Mike’s to pick up Brandon in less than an hour,” Stef cut her off. “Let’s just go.”

The car ride back to Lena’s apartment passed in silence. Only as Lena was turning into her complex did Stef finally speak, her voice low and soft. “I’m allowed to be a lesbian and still like penetrative sex.” She meant it to be a statement, but a layer of uncertainty ran through her voice.

“Of course you are,” Lena agreed. She pulled into an open parking space and threw the car into park so she could face her girlfriend. “I’m sorry, Stef, this was-”

“You liked to wear a strap-on with Gretchen, but not with me?” Stef’s jaw clenched as she stared straight forward out the window. “Because what - I’m not a gold-star lesbian so maybe I'm still 'just passing through'?”

“ _No_ ,” Lena burst. One of her friends had brought a new girlfriend out with them for drinks a few weeks before and she made a series of offhand remarks about gold-star lesbians. Lena still seethed over it, mostly because she could see how Stef grew quiet and withdrawn over the course of the conversation. Obviously the comments had stuck with Stef as well.

Lena twisted her body in the driver’s seat and took Stef’s hand in both of hers. Stef didn’t pull away, but she didn’t meet Lena’s eyes either. “No, Stef, this was not about you somehow not being lesbian enough. This was me.” She stumbled over over the words and pressed on. “When we were standing there looking at the strap-ons, I felt... maybe a bit insecure? Not that I thought you wanted to go back to men, but that I wouldn’t be as good at it as... that you wouldn’t enjoy it as much. You have more experience with penetrative sex than I do - and that doesn’t make you any less of a lesbian, it just means that…” she trailed off, unsure of where to go.

Stef tilted her head as she finally looked at Lena. “You were, what? Afraid you wouldn’t measure up?

Lena blushed as she remembered the dildo she’d picked up in the store. “So to speak.”

Stef’s lips twitched up into a tentative smile. “You don’t have to worry about that,” she said. “You don’t have to measure up to Mike or anyone else. I might like penetration sometimes, but I don’t want sex with a man, Lena, I want sex with _you_.”

 


	2. Stef and Lena try something new

A few weeks later, Stef dropped Brandon off at Mike’s for the weekend and drove to Lena’s apartment. Lena had texted earlier to say she had a parent meeting after school, so Stef let herself in when she arrived. She found a package of ground beef thawing in the refrigerator and took it out to start browning for dinner.

By the time Lena came home, the apartment smelled of simmering tomato sauce and hot garlic bread. She kicked off her shoes, dropped her work bag next to the kitchen table and walked up behind Stef, wrapping her arms around her

Stef smiled. "Hey, honey. You hungry?"

"Starved," Lena answered. She brushed Stef's hair aside and lowered her mouth to the crook of Stef's neck. Stef gasped as Lena's teeth grazed her skin, immediately followed by a soothing stroke of her tongue.

Stef clicked off the stove and turned. Her lips met Lena's with the hunger of a long week's separation. Lena maneuvered them to the side, away from the stove, and she pushed Stef up against the wall. The hard, smooth surface of cool drywall at her back contrasted sharply with the warm body pressed against her front. Every nerve in her body tingled under Lena's touch.

Stef ran her hands up under Lena's shirt, caressing the soft skin of her back as she lifted the fabric. They broke apart long enough for Lena to pull the shirt over her head. Stef unhooked the clasp of her bra and Lena shrugged out of it, letting it fall to join her shirt on the kitchen floor.

Lena reached for the buttons that ran down the front of Stef's shirt as Stef lowered her mouth to kiss along her jaw. When Stef's lips closed over the pulse point on her neck, she sucked in a quick breath through her teeth. Her pulse thudded in her ears and she abandoned the buttons with Stef's shirt only half-open, reaching up for Stef instead. She wove her fingers through Stef's hair as Stef nipped lightly at her neck.

"Do you want me to leave a mark?" Stef asked. Her lips brushed against Lena's neck as she spoke; warm breath panted against skin where moments before there had been teeth.

" _Yes_ ," Lena hissed. She had two days before she had to go back to work and plenty of scarves she could wear if a hickey was still visible by then. She twisted her hand in the long, silky hair, her fingers locking close at the base of Stef's head and holding her in place with lips tight against her neck. Stef moaned at the grip on her hair that was just this side of painful. She bit in answer, teeth scraping over Lena's heated skin.

Lena thrust her hips forward, pushing Stef firmly back into the wall. Stef fumbled to slide one hand between their bodies and undo her pants. Lena eased back enough to allow Stef to slip her pants and underwear off and then she leaned in, pushing one thigh between Stef's. Her skirt rode up her leg and Stef rocked forward, grinding against bare skin.

Lena released her hold on Stef's hair and traced her fingers down the side of her neck. Stef shuddered and pulled back to look at her. Lena knew without having to see a mirror that Stef had succeeded in marking her. She felt sore and hot, and the cool air in the apartment flowed over the patch of wet skin, sending a shiver down her spine.

Stef's eyes lingered on the dark hickey she'd created and a self-satisfied smile played across her face. Her eyes met Lena's. The undisguised _want_ that she found in Lena's intense gaze matched her own desire. Heat pooled in her stomach and her body hummed with energy. She cupped Lena's face in her hands and kissed her, slow and tender, as their bodies pressed together.

When the kiss ended, Lena turned her face into Stef's hand and brushed her lips over the calloused mound at the base of her thumb. "Bedroom?" Stef asked.

Lena nodded and turned, taking Stef by the hand and leading her into the bedroom. Her queen-size bed took up most of the floorspace in the small room and they both managed to bump their knees against the side of the bed as they stripped off what was left of their clothes.

Stef sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Lena toward her. She wrapped her legs around Lena’s thighs, drawing her closer. Lena’s deft fingers traced over her arms and shoulders, following the contours of her skin with a light touch.

Lena moaned as Stef caught her nipple between her lips. She ran her hands across the smooth expanse of Stef’s back and leaned her head back. She closed her eyes and her world shrunk, every thought eclipsed by the sensation of Stef’s mouth on her body, Stef’s tongue teasing pebbled skin, Stef’s fingers caressing the soft underside of her breasts.

The breathy exhales that shuddered past her open lips could only be described as panting with desire. Her knees weakened and Stef’s arms rose to wrap around her body. Stef fell backward onto the bed, guiding Lena with her so they both lay on their sides.

One hand flowed down her body, raising goosebumps on heated skin. Lena bit her lip as Stef teased her with light touches that fluttered over her ribs, side, hips and thigh. Her hand brushed over the tight curls at the juncture of Lena's thighs and Lena pressed forward, opening her legs in a less-than-subtle demand.

Stef’s fingers skittered away and Lena whimpered. She gripped Stef's hip and pulled her close, wedging her knee in between Stef's. Stef trailed her hand along Lena's inner thigh, down to her knee and back up. Lena sank down against Stef's hand before she could continue teasing her. Her eyelids fluttered and she met Stef's gaze through heavy-lidded eyes as the warm, solid hand cupped her.  

Stef leaned in to kiss her. Soft, open-mouthed kisses showered Lena's lips, chin, and down her neck. Stef stopped when she reached her collarbone, running her tongue along the dip to taste salty skin. Lena's fingers dug into Stef's hip, impatiently dragging her closer. She rocked her hips against Stef's hand, and her knee between Stef's thighs shifted upward with the motion.

Stef wouldn't appreciate the short, muted sound that caught in her throat being characterized as a grunt, but Lena couldn't think of any other word for it. She did it again, pressing forward into Stef's hand with her whole body and intentionally scraping her thigh along Stef's core in the process. There was no mistaking the sound this time; Stef buried her face in the crook of Lena's neck to muffle the noise.

Lena bumped Stef’s shoulder with her nose, breathing in the intoxicating scent of her sweat. The movement dislodged Stef from her neck.

She set a steady rhythm, sliding against Stef as she rode her hand. The soft grunts of pleasure slipped unbidden from Stef’s lips, growing longer and higher in pitch.

Lena gasped as Stef shifted her hand - touching, caressing, stroking her. Fingers slid over wet lips and the heel of Stef’s hand rolled into her clit with every thrust. Her nails scraped over Stef’s back and she pressed her mouth to her shoulder, tasting salty skin as she felt the firm muscles flex under her lips.

She turned her face up toward Stef, mouth open for a kiss. Their lips just barely brushed when Lena cried out, her moan mingling with Stef’s in a rush of hot, gasping breaths.

Lena’s head dropped onto the bed, trapping Stef’s free arm under her neck. Stef curled around her, running her hand up into sweaty, tangled hair. Lena hummed in satisfaction as Stef withdrew her hand from between her legs.

Stef brought her hand up to cradle Lena’s cheek; she brushed her thumb across her lips. Lena flicked her tongue over the rough pad of her thumb. Stef's eyes darkened as Lena tasted herself on her hand. She rolled them together, pulling Lena on top of her, her hand still cupping Lena’s cheek.

Lena settled between her thighs and supported her weight on her elbows. Stef moaned as Lena shifted forward, rubbing against her pelvis and sending a jolt of pleasure up through her body.

Lena opened her lips and leaned down, capturing Stef's thumb between her teeth. She scraped her tongue over the sensitive fingertip and sucked. Stef's hips jumped, twitching underneath her. Lena moved her mouth down, kissing the soft inside of Stef's wrist before moving to her torso.

Stef shivered, her whole body quivering as Lena's mouth closed on her nipple. “Oh,” she breathed as she ran her fingers through Lena’s hair.

Lena's hands slid over her upper arms, fingers wrapping around her biceps and forcing her arms up above her head. Stef let herself be moved, her fingers sliding out of Lena’s hair and falling to the bed to curl in the fabric of the pillow above her. She felt the length of Lena's forearms press solidly down on the bed along her ribs on both sides of her body. She twisted her legs around Lena's, pulling her in closer, tighter, seeking more friction, more contact, more...

Lena knew that this wasn't enough, that - as good as this felt for both of them - Stef wouldn't get there just from grinding against her. But instead of sliding her hand between them, she lowered her mouth to the dip between full breasts. "I went back to the sex shop this week," she murmured into Stef's sternum.

"Oh?" Stef tucked one arm under her head, raising up just enough so that she could see Lena's face.

"I got us something, if... if you still want to try it?" Lena said softly. Her chin rested lightly on Stef's chest and her eyes searched Stef's, tentative and questioning, waiting for her reaction.

Stef didn't have to ask what she was referring to. Her cheeks flushed and her thighs clenched around Lena's hips as a thrum of desire flowed through her. "Yes," she whispered, her voice low and ragged. She wet her suddenly-dry lips with a flick of her tongue. "I want you to..." _Fuck me_ , she almost said. She stopped herself; the words sounded too wanton even in her own mind.

But the smile that played on Lena's lips told her that her girlfriend had heard the unspoken words. Lena rose onto her hands and knees and stretched forward to kiss her before getting up and moving to the closet. Stef propped herself up on her elbows and watched as Lena pull out a small box hidden behind a stack of folded pants.

"Is this good?" Lena asked, nervous that she had picked the wrong one.

Stef dragged her eyes up to Lena's face. She nodded.

Lena tore open the packaging.

It should have looked absurd. Unnaturally red, with bumpy ridges down the length of the shaft; a flat, wide base designed to fit into the harness; and a thin wire that snaked out to a small remote... at the store, Stef had thought the dildos looked almost silly: like cartoon caricatures of penises, which, to be perfectly honest, look a bit strange to start with. But now, in Lena's hand as she loaded it with batteries, snapped the bottom shut, and slid it into her harness, it didn't seem ridiculous at all.

Her eyes followed Lena as she buckled the harness around her waist and thighs.

“Come here.” Stef opened her arms as Lena came back to bed. She pulled Lena down on top of her. She kissed her roughly, her mouth seeking Lena’s with hunger and want. The tip nudged against her and Stef squirmed, trying to get the angle right. Lena lifted up her hips to reach one hand between them, and they slid together.

Stef moaned and rolled her hips into Lena. She squeezed her muscles, pulling Lena in deeper. She flung one arm up and placed her hand flat on Lena’s lower back, pressing down. Her other arm wove under Lena’s and wrapped across her shoulders. Her teeth sought Lena’s collarbone as she writhed on the mattress, her strong arms holding them together from chest to pelvis.

Lena moved against her, thrusting forward so she rubbed over Stef’s clit and pelvis with every movement. Stef hissed a breath in through her teeth. She braced her feet on the bed behind Lena’s knees, holding Lena from slipping against the mattress.

Stef pushed back, demanding, driving the pace harder and faster. She panted, her breath hot and wet against Lena’s neck as she clung to her, their bodies crushed together and moving with one mind.

When Stef finally screamed out her release, her arms clamped down around Lena, squeezing so hard Lena could barely breathe. Lena continued to pump her hips, her strokes growing slower and gentler as Stef’s cry of pleasure eased into a long, low moan and then dropped into a series of  contented sighs.

Lena could feel the tension rush out of Stef’s body as her arms fell away and she slumped boneless into the mattress. Lena collapsed on top of her, cheek resting on her breasts. She could feel Stef still twitching as she gasped in air; the phallus pulled against her as Stef’s muscles contracted and released.  

She looked up at Stef; her eyes were closed and a wide, unencumbered smile spread across her face. Even though Stef couldn’t see, Lena smiled in answer.

They lay together and breathed. When they finally peeled apart, moving slowly as the sticky remnants of their arousal and sweat glued them together, they both felt too tired and lead-limbed to get up. One pillow had gotten wedged down in the crack between the bed and the wall, but neither of them reached for it.

“I cooked dinner,” Stef mentioned when Lena’s stomach rumbled. Lena grunted in response, but made no effort to move.

They sprawled across the sheets - the covers had fallen to the floor long ago - and stretched out under the fan that rotated lazily overhead. Heads pressed together on the single remaining pillow and sweaty hair clung to their faces and necks.

"Come stay with me and B this week?"

Lena stilled at Stef’s question. “Are you sure?” she asked. Brandon knew they were dating. Lena sometimes came over for dinner at Stef’s when he was there and more than once the three of them had gone out for ice cream, dinner, or a family-friendly movie. But she had never stayed over at Stef’s townhouse when he was there and Stef never spent the night at her apartment except when he was at Mike’s.

Stef nodded. “I want to see you more,” she said. She toyed with Lena’s fingers where their hands met on the bed. “I miss you during the weeks,” she confessed. Between their work schedules and Stef needing to put Brandon to bed every night by eight, they didn’t often see each other outside of the weekends. “Come stay with us,” she repeated.


	3. Brandon finds a toy

One Saturday at the beginning of summer, a few weeks after Brandon graduated kindergarten and Lena’s hectic school year came to a close, they rented a uhaul to move all their things into their new house.

They really could have spent that night eating some of the leftovers that still filled their old fridge and sleeping on the worn futon cushion that was staying at the townhouse until trash pick-up next week. But Brandon's excitement at the new house was uncontainable and Stef and Lena caved to his eager pleading. The three of them spent the first night in their new home camped out together on an air mattress in the living room.

Lena wanted a week or two to unpack and get settled in before having anyone over. But their friends insisted on coming to see the new place as soon as possible and Stef argued that they could order take-out for everyone and put people to work helping them get moved in.

So for lunch on Sunday, she found herself in a kitchen that didn't yet have a refrigerator, eating pizza off of paper towels and standing around their new wooden table (chairs still in pieces in their boxes) with Stef's mom and a half dozen of their friends. Even Mike had come over with a Lowes gift card for them and a toolbag to help re-assemble bookcases and beds that had been taken apart for the move.

She couldn't have been happier.

Brandon raced around the house; more underfoot than helpful, he kept convincing the adults to take breaks and play with him. On the rare occasion he opened a box to unpack, he found himself so entertained re-discovering familiar items (which up until a few days ago had sat ignored on shelves in Stef's townhouse) that he gave up all pretense at helping and plopped down on the floor surrounded by old newspaper and packing peanuts while he closely examined each object.

Lena had to admit that the extra hands made the work go faster. Sharon spent most of the day following Brandon around, keeping an eye on the endless ball of energy that was a 6-year-old child, so she and Stef were free to focus on organizing their new home.

"Just think," Stef said, balancing a box of dishes on her hip. "By the time Dana and Stewart come to visit next month, we might actually be able to see our own kitchen counter."

Lena laughed. "Hopefully we'll be unpacked well before then. But if not, I think my parents could be bribed into work too."

Mike staggered through the open doorway with three boxes stacked in his arms. "Toys going up to B's room?" he asked, one foot already on the stairs.

"Yes," Lena answered, moving toward him. "Here, let me get one of those."

Mike shook his head. "I've got it. But there's a coffee table in the garage Jenna might need a hand with."

By the time Frank arrived in the early evening (he said he wanted to finish watching the game; Stef confided in Lena that she hadn't been sure he'd come at all and thought he needed the extra time to talk himself into it), all of the boxes were, if not unpacked, at least in the proper rooms and the kitchen and living room had come together decently enough for everyone to sit and relax a bit.

Sharon turned Brandon-watching duty back over to Stef as she stepped into the kitchen to see what she could find for dinner. Until the new refrigerator could be delivered, their food options were limited to what they'd brought from the pantry at the townhouse. Mac-and-cheese was a given, at least in Brandon's mind, and Stef agreed on the condition that they heat up a can of green beans to go along with it. After a long day's work, a glass of wine would have hit the spot, but consideration for Mike's newfound sobriety won out. Lena found a case of room-temperature soda cans and passed them out among the exhausted group of friends and family that filled the living room.

When Mike raised his soda and wished Stef and Lena well in their new home, even Frank drank in agreement. Their friend Arizona muttered something under her breath about wishing them well in properly breaking in every last room and Jenna nudged her sharply with one eye toward Frank, who fortunately hadn't noticed the exchange. Stef reached for her hand and Lena felt her chest swell with a warm fuzziness not caused by the tepid, vaguely aluminum-flavored liquid they toasted with.

She had always imagined starting a family someday, but the fantasy usually involved marriage and pregnancy. The idea of a partner only recently out of the closet, with a recovering-alcoholic ex-husband; a disapproving, conservative father; and a son about to start first grade at her school had never crossed her mind. But now that she had found her family, she couldn't picture it any other way.

After dinner, most of their friends left, but Jenna volunteered to clean up the kitchen so Lena and Stef could have some quiet time with the family. Brandon's bedtime crept closer, but he showed no signs of winding down. "I think your dad carried some boxes of toys up to your room earlier," Lena mentioned. "Why don't you go find a deck of cards or a board game?" If nothing else, a game would get him to sit still long enough that he might realize how tired he was.

Brandon looked to Stef for permission and as soon as she nodded, he shot up the stairs toward his room.

"You're good with him," Sharon said as she came to sit on the couch next to Lena. "He really looks up to you."

"Brandon's a good kid," Lena responded.

Stef leaned back and threw one arm across Lena's shoulders, hugging her into her side. "He'll be calling you 'mama' before you know it," she said before planting a kiss on Lena's forehead.

"If he wants to," Lena said, watching Mike's quiet discomfort and Frank's open frown. "He already has a mom and a dad."

"And now he has you too," Sharon stated firmly, patting Lena on her knee.

The rapid clomping of Brandon's footsteps on the stairs put a stop to that conversation before anybody could say anything else - an interruption Lena couldn't help but be glad for. She knew what Sharon was doing and she appreciated the statement Stef's mother was making, but it was obvious that Frank and Mike weren't comfortable with the idea of her as Brandon's mother yet. And to be honest, she had only been living with Stef and Brandon for a few months - _he_ still wasn't ready to think of her as his mother and, until he did, there was no point in bringing up another point of conflict between Stef and her father. Mike's concern had less to do with Lena's gender than with her role as step-parent; that was a normal reaction she'd seen in many blended families. As Brandon came to accept her as a parent, Mike would too.

"What did you pick out, B?" Mike called.

"Candyland!" Brandon squealed from halfway down the stairs.

A collective groan filled the living room, and Stef waved her hand to hush them. “That sounds great, love,” she called back to Brandon. She shook her finger at her dad. "This is your fault," she scolded, too low for Brandon to hear. "He has not put that game down since you got it for him."

Frank chortled, the seriousness of a moment ago forgotten. "Should I feel bad that I find toys my grandson likes?" He sat in a large armchair with his back toward the stairs and the kitchen beyond, but he still turned his face into his shoulder so Brandon would not see him laughing at his game choice.

Brandon jumped around the corner, holding the Candyland box in both hands. "Look, Mom! I'm a rrhhino!" He stretched out the word in excitement.

Lena paled.

Her silver harness wrapped haphazardly over his ears. Brandon bent over, scraped one foot against the floor, and roared; the bright red dildo bobbed comically on his forehead.

Sharon burst out laughing. She doubled over on the couch, clutching Lena's knee with one hand to support herself. Her other hand pressed against her chest as each spasm of laughter tore through her.

Mike didn't know how to react; he sat frozen in horrified surprise. His eyes darted to Lena and his mouth opened and closed without emitting a sound.

"Brandon!" Stef's voice cut through the room and the child froze. "Don’t play with _that!_ " He didn't know what he'd done wrong, but his face crumbled at his mother's tone.

Jenna heard the commotion and appeared next to the stairs. She scooped one arm around Brandon's middle and lifted him clear off the ground, yanking him back into the kitchen just as Frank turned to see what had everyone's attention. The board game tumbled out of his hands and spilled open when it hit the ground, plastic pieces scattering over the wood floor.

Stef jumped to her feet. She squeezed past her cackling mother and distraught girlfriend, ignored her father's questioning look, and didn't even spare a glance for her shocked ex. She followed her son into the kitchen.

Jenna had lifted him up to sit on the table and was just starting to try to calm him down. But as soon as Brandon saw Stef, his lips started quivering again and he reached out for her.

Lena slipped into the kitchen and hung back, unnoticed by Stef and her son. Stef went to Brandon and his scrawny arms reached up to twine around her neck. Stef rubbed his back in slow, steady circles. That ridiculous phallus still protruded off the top of his head, much like, as he had imagined, a rhino's horn. He heaved a sob as he clung to her and Stef tried to ignore the dildo that waggled next to her face with the rhythm of his shaking shoulders.

Jenna saw Lena come in and moved around behind Stef's back to join Lena in the doorway. She squeezed Lena's hand and whispered, "I'll keep the rest of the family in the living room."

"Thank you," Lena replied.

"Also," Jenna smiled, "total blackmail material when that kid's older."

Lena tried to smile past the knot in her throat; it came out as a half-hearted twitch of her lips. She felt too mortified to find much humor at the moment. Jenna stepped into the living room to keep Stef's family occupied.

"I'm sorry for snapping, love," Stef soothed. Brandon rubbed his nose into the collar of her shirt and Stef pursed her lips in resignation as she felt the smear of snot he left behind. "But this..." She leaned back and wiped his tears off his cheeks before unclipping the harness and pulling it off his head. "Is not a toy." She set it on the table next to him and cupped his chin in one hand, turning his face up to look at her. "Okay?"

"It was in my toy box," Brandon argued sullenly. "In my room."

Stef cocked her head. "I don't think so, sweets."

"It _was_!" he insisted.

"Brandon..." Stef's voice held a note of warning. "You know better than to tell stories."

Lena stepped forward now and placed a hand on Stef's shoulder. Stef looked askance at her, but let go of Brandon's chin and moved aside, opening the small circle she shared with Brandon to allow Lena in. Brandon stared down at the floor, his small ears turning red.

"Brandon, this was in your toy box?" Lena asked.

Stef sighed and shook her head, looking at Lena over Brandon's tousled hair and bent head. She had packed all of Brandon's toys herself; there was no way that she had put one of their sex toys in with her first-grader's puzzles, action figures, and Legos.

“Yes,” Brandon replied firmly, his teeth biting down on the end of the sound.

"With all your other toys?"

Brandon shook his head. "New toys." His voice was small and stubborn, although there was a subtle waver to his confident answer. Lena's heart melted with how much he reminded her of Stef - fiercely bull-headed and uncertain all wrapped up together, charging ahead one moment and filled with self-doubt the next.

"Did the box say 'Brandon's toys'?"

Brandon thought. "No, just 'toys.'"

"Oh, honey." Lena was trying very hard not to laugh now as she realized what had happened. When she moved in with Stef and Brandon several months before, she’d put all the sex toys from her apartment into a cardboard box and labeled it “toys.” That box sat in their closet and, when they finished house-hunting and were ready to pack up again, it was easy just to throw everything back into that same box. The box that, apparently, Mike had carried in from the garage and put in Brandon’s room with all the other boxes of toys.

She wrapped Brandon in a hug. "That box got put in your room by mistake. You didn't do anything wrong, but those still aren't your toys to play with. If you see something you don't recognize, you need to ask your mom or me if it's okay to play with before you take it, alright?"

Brandon nodded, but Lena stepped back to look him in the face. "Brandon?"

"Alright," he said, his eyes sliding from Lena's face over toward the living room. When she didn't say anything or move aside to let him down, he huffed. "I'll ask you or Mom before I play with something that isn't mine."

"Thank you," Lena said. She looked at Stef, waiting for her to re-take the lead on the conversation, but Stef smiled and shrugged. "How about you hop down and go back in with your dad and grandma and grandpa? Get that game picked up and your mom and I will be there in a minute to play."

Again, Brandon looked at Stef for her approval before doing as Lena said. When she gave it, Brandon jumped off the table and skidded over to the living room.

The laughter that Stef had been working to keep back finally burst through and she pulled Lena into a hug. "Poor kid is going to be scarred for life," she groaned. "At least it was clean, right? We washed it before packing up?"

"Yes, thank god," Lena answered. "I'm so sorry; I should have relabeled that box before this move. I didn’t think about it getting mixed up with kids toys."

"Oh no, I mean, when we packed, we were planning on doing all the unpacking ourselves. Wouldn't have gotten put in B's room if I hadn't had everyone here helping. So don't feel bad. Stuff happens," Stef said. "Poor B, though. At least he doesn't know what any of it is. I'm going to go grab that box and stick it in our closet." She scooped up the dildo and harness and held it behind her so that nobody in the living room would see it as she moved toward the stairs.

Lena reached out for her arm and pulled her in for a quick kiss. “Maybe hide it behind some of the clothes boxes while you're at it.” She gently pushed her back toward the stairs. “And come back down prepared to lose, my love, because I'm going to destroy you in Candyland."

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the Fosters.  
> I saw a comic once where a kid walks into a room wearing a strap-on like a unicorn/rhino and the mom and all her friends see and are horrified. It was pretty funny and provided the initial inspiration for this story... and then it kinda grew from there.  
> I love hearing people's reactions, so feel free to send comments/kudos or say hi on tumblr!


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